Clearing the Chambers of the Heart: Processing for Satsang
Spirit urged me to host Satsang Sunday gatherings at The Light Retreat in Charlotte, and almost immediately the natural clearing that accompanies such an undertaking began. My dear Aunt Yvonne in her ninety-fourth year was finally approaching her transition. Her importance in my life, as well as childhood trauma, emerged in my awareness as I sat at my aunt’s bedside.
From the depths of my heart carefully hidden sorrow welled up in my being. The familial pain of my little cousin’s untimely death at the tender age of three– consumed in fire from playing with a lighter. While he lay suffering in the burn unit, my aunt softly sang, “You are my Sunshine.” A song mothers in our family pass on to their children. The entire hospital ward hushed to hear the gentle words of my aunt’s goodbye to her dying child. The lyrics a soothing balm for pain too intense to bear. Now, as she herself lay drifting into another realm, I gently held my auntie’s fragile hand and felt her deep long-held heartache as she softly began whispering, ‘You are my sunshine…’ to me. My sobs quieted until I knew she fell asleep.
I was too young to understand what death was, but I longed for my little cousin. And when the unthinkable happened and auntie later buried more of her children, she somehow became stronger. Yvonne shone as a beacon of Light, reminding me to say the Rosary and to partake of the sacraments often. She encouraged me in every way conceivable. Yvonne taught me how to can peaches and bake pies, and she gave me beautiful aprons that fill my kitchen drawer, ready to save my holiday dress from unforeseen spills. My Christmas table is adorned with her beautiful bone china.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Our suffering forges a strength within, if we allow our pain to process. Yvonne held me up, during moments when the earth disappeared underneath my feet. When my first born arrived and my mother was trying to start over miles away in Florida, Aunt Yvonne taught me how to bathe and care for a newborn. She encouraged me to cry out my postpartum blues. I knew she was human- with her own natural flaws- but she was my angel.
Saying goodbye allowed a well of sorrow to spring forth for my own healing. And although I traverse the Akashic Halls and commune with Ascended Masters and family who have crossed over, I mourn for my aunt’s passing even as I celebrate her liberation into the higher dimensions. I must honor the processing of personal pains, buried long ago, in order to liberate my heart.
Now, during this watery Pisces full moon, I gently release the ties that once bound me to suffering in my youth. I ask Luna to help me clear the chambers of my awakening heart. I call upon dear Aunt Yvonne– as my angel– for continued guidance in my days to come. And I joyfully welcome Grace to flow fully, so that I may step forward as a beacon of Light, my soul’s calling to hold Satang Sunday- for Love’s sake…. for Truth’s sake… for unity and community.